I feel like abortions should bother me more
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
