I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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