I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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