somebody snuck up and got me drunk
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
