the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
