that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
