he puts the penis in happiness.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
My ATM looks so different sober.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
