i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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