Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
