She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
