bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
