"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize