And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Randomize
