i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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