i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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