bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize