...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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