Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
