you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
