similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
