it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Just invented taco cereal.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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