it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
