just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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