I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Come back. Shots need mouths.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
