So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
