erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
