Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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