You just made me feel so damn special
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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