So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
