well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
