MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
