I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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