Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I puked a lego.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
My vagina just recognized that song.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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