It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
