If that was your dad, he is hot
That's when you crack a 10am beer
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
