This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
We have so much sex to catch up on
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Randomize
