Welp...herpes.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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