Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
We named our party play list daddy issues
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
