do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i just google imaged poop.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
