I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
