Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
