That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
