I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
