no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
