His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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