So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
