oh god the rape fog is back!
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
