My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
My vagina is very pro this idea
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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