I want you more than these girls want KFC
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
