I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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