70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
