I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
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