So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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