I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize