how do flat chested girls get laid?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
