on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
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