Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize