She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Randomize
