That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Hippo gnu deer
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
