He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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